The practice of Self Forgiveness: an interview with Kimberly Bowen

By Elinor Svoboda | August 30, 2024

Kimberly Bowen is a senior faculty member of the Training in Power Academy and one of the facilitators of the popular Forgiveness workshop on Meetups. With the profound transformation she’s witnessed in this workshop and with herself on this topic, we wanted to learn more about the role of Forgiveness in the healing journey.

What inspired you to create this Meetup workshop on Forgiveness? Why do you think it’s important?

I noticed that I held a lot of grudges against myself. It was like I had a loop of stories about mistakes I’d made, times I’d hurt someone, that would pop up in my mind and make me feel like I was a bad person. I had at least a dozen things I had never forgiven myself for. I am a teacher with Training in Power Academy where our focus is on Love, knowing that we deserve unconditional love and clearing away any blocks from that Love. When I noticed I had this playlist of mistakes that would cycle through me and make me feel bad, I decided to develop a self forgiveness practice so I could be free of them.

I so often hear people being harsh with themselves, and wanted to share this practice with them so they could find self-forgiveness and feel that freedom of knowing they deserve love, no matter what.

What do you think the relationship is between Self Forgiveness and Forgiving others?

If you are harsh with others, you need to look at how you are being harsh with yourself. We all make mistakes, it’s how humans learn. Self First is a focus in Training in Power – first heal yourself, and then your external relationships and situations tend to clear up and reflect your internal clarity.

A lot of times when people are treated harshly by another person, or even abused, they blame themselves for allowing it to happen. I’ve heard people struggle with trying to forgive the person who harmed or betrayed them, but what they are really feeling is shame for letting it happen. They blame themselves for being abused or hurt. We learn this as children, when a parent punishes a child in anger, teaching the child it’s their fault that the parent is angry.

Do you think it’s possible to Forgive those who have hurt us and haven’t shown remorse? Why would we want to?

I think sometimes we get caught up in the idea that we must forgive everyone for everything. That it’s the right thing to do and will make us feel better. But what if someone did something that really hurt me? Why should I let them off the hook? And what about someone who keeps doing the same harmful behavior –betrayal, lying, whatever – over and over, am I supposed to forgive them over and over again? How does that really help me or them?

Maybe forgiveness is over-rated if it makes us believe we have to just get over it. I think that in the push to forgive, we tend to skip the most important step which is to acknowledge our own feelings. Instead of pushing to say “Oh, it’s ok that you hurt me, I forgive you,” I believe it is healthier to acknowledge how hurt you were by the person’s behavior, and really allow yourself to feel those feelings. Really feel how incorrect it was, and know that you deserve to be treated with nothing less than love and respect.

It’s really up to each of us to find our own accountability. I can’t make anyone else find theirs. And so I keep working on forgiving myself for any way that I was not loving to myself or to others.

What is your practice of Self-Forgiveness? How has it impacted your spiritual journey?

I really listen to how I talk to myself. If I hear myself saying anything that makes me feel bad (such as, “that was stupid”) or remembering something I did that makes me feel guilty (like that time when I didn’t bring enough donuts for a party – !?) I notice it and stop. I really try to be as nice to myself as I am to my friends. I ask, “Was that so bad? Can I forgive myself? Does it matter anymore?” I take a couple of deep breaths, and I let it go. I tell myself “It’s OK, it’s OK, it’s OK. I forgive you,” until I feel it release.

Also, when I meditate, I breathe in the Love of the Universe, really fill with that expansive loving light, and tell myself, “You are beloved, just as you are.” I reinforce that every day so I remember it is true. This helps me notice when I do not feel beloved, when I am being harsh with myself, so I realize I have some work to do to get back to feeling Love.

It’s like brushing your teeth, you have to do it every day to keep the negativity from building up!

What can participants expect from the free Meetup Forgiveness workshop?

I always share a story about how I’ve been working with Forgiveness lately. The best part is the guided meditation that helps you find areas where you need to forgive yourself, and know how beloved you are no matter what. The meditation helps you get closer to that place of unconditional self love, which is our birthright.

We also offer energetic readings to help those who would like some help getting clarity around forgiveness. I love that part because we all learn from each other. It is beautiful, heartfelt work!

Join a Training in Power Meetups near you to participate in a Forgiveness workshop and other amazing free online courses.

Find our more about Kimberly on her website and faculty profile.

Posted in Forgiveness, Healing, Meditation, Wellness

Level 1 is the beginning step to taking back your life

“I wish that Level 1 was required to graduate from high school. But for now it’s the kind of course that each person must to decide to do. My wish is that everyone will choose to raise themselves to their full potential. And Level 1 is the beginning step to taking back your life.”

-M.K. Redmond WA

It was really circumstance that brought me to the Training – a friend was doing it and I didn’t want to be left out.

“And so my Journey began … Right from Level 1, I felt my family’s belief systems that had held me hostage for so long, begin to dissipate. I found a passion and love for life that has transformed not only my life but my children’s as well. I feel I’m a better person and a healthier parent. I’m excited about life in a way I could never have imagined.

This may not be what Spirituality means to others, but for me, taking Level I was the start of my true spiritual journey. This work has changed my life in every way. As a teacher of this work, I can share it with others, to perhaps create a happier world where we stop terrorizing ourselves and connect to the goodness within us all.”

E.S. – VICTORIA, BRITISH COLUMBIA

If I had to narrow it down to one thing that I have received

“If I had to narrow it down to one thing that I have received from undertaking courses with Faye Fitzgerald and the Training in Power Academy, I would say that the deep sense of self-esteem and understanding of my unique contribution to the world is what stands out in my mind.”

B.F. – VANCOUVER ISLAND, BRITISH COLUMBIA

I was a psychic child

“I was a psychic child and learned to read palms when I was 11 years old and from there to astrology, numerology, tarot, back to palms. People avoided me they were afraid I would know too much about them. I avoided people as I did not want to know. Since taking Level I (in Abbotsford), I am now able to work and fit into mainstream society. I got on my own team!

The work is difficult, it takes focus and courage and the payback is incredible! I have learned to look to myself for answers, rather than to the exterior. I no longer blame others for my challenges in life. Mostly I’ve become aware of the rewards of being in service to myself first and others second. Life is rich.”

M.D. – ABBOTSFORD, BRITISH COLUMBIA